Even couples who love one another deeply can become caught in painful patterns of conflict, distance, and misunderstanding. Beneath recurring arguments, criticism, or withdrawal, there are often deeper feelings of hurt, fear, loneliness, and a longing to feel understood and connected.

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) helps couples recognize and change these patterns by exploring the emotions and attachment needs that underlie them. Rather than focusing only on what partners disagree about, EFT helps each person understand what happens emotionally during moments of disconnection and find new ways to communicate vulnerability, respond to one another, and restore closeness.

EFT and Relational Psychoanalysis

My approach to EFT is informed by my training and experience as a relational psychoanalyst. Both approaches recognize the profound influence of our relationships on our emotional lives and the ways that earlier experiences shape how we respond to those closest to us.

EFT's emphasis on emotion and attachment complements the relational psychoanalytic perspective, allowing me to attend both to the immediate interactions between partners and to the deeper meanings, expectations, and sensitivities that shape their relationship. This integration helps couples develop a richer understanding of themselves and one another, moving beyond recurring conflicts toward greater empathy, trust, and intimacy.

Building a More Secure Connection

The goal of couples therapy is not to eliminate disagreements, but to help partners navigate differences without losing their connection. As couples become better able to express vulnerable feelings and understand one another's emotional experiences, they can develop a greater sense of security and find new ways of relating.

Whether you are struggling with recurring conflict, emotional distance, or diminished intimacy, couples therapy can help you understand the patterns that keep you apart and begin finding your way back to one another.